asapscience:

A UFO caught on tape!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

asapscience:

A UFO caught on tape!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's the most illegal thing you ever did?
Anonymous

almanzapedia:

At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.

So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.

She refused to fix my grade.

In the end, she shit herself on stage.

I didn’t regret it.

michaelshillingburg:

Stellar!

officialcrow:

bryantsupreme:

Moan into my mouth while I finger you when we kiss.

rub your stomach while you pat your head

gpunks:

Matching icons for you and your friends

Mewtwo: i see now that the circumstances of ones birth are irrelevant. it is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are.
Mew: mew

hannahlaurahierseman:

Hi, My name is Junie B. Jones. The B. stands for Beatrice, except I don’t like Beatrice. I just like B. and that’s all.

Do not chase people. Be you and do your own thing and work hard. The right people who belong in your life will come to you, and stay.
Wu Tang Clan (one of my favorite quotes ever)

dajo42:

whenever somebody says like “so what did you do today?” just look off into the distance and say “the right thing”